[Vip-humor] Forest Gump

[Parker]

Thanks to Ralph Brewer for this one.
Forrest Gump died and he stood in front of Saint Peter at the pearly Gates.  Saint Peter said, "Welcome Forrest. We've heard a lot about you. He continued unfortunately it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in."  Forrest said,"OK, I hope it's not too hard.  I've already been through a test.  My mama used to say life is like a final exam. It's hard.""Yes,  Forrest, I know but this test is only three questions.  Here they are: 
1. Which two days of the week begin with the letter "T," 2. How many seconds are in a year,
3. What is God's first name?"
"Well, Sir, Forrest said, for the first one is easy which two days of the week begin with the "T" today and tomorrow."  Saint Peter looked surprised and said, "Well that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point.  I give you credit for that answer." 
"The next question," said, Forest,"How many seconds are in a year?  12." 
"12," said Saint Peter, surprised and confused!
"Yes, Sir, January 2 February 2 March 2.."  Saint Peter interrupted him, "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one too." "And the last question," said Forrest, "What is God's first name? it's Andy!"
"Andy,?  said Saint Peter in shock! "How did you come up with Andy?"
"I learned it in church.  We used to sing about it."Forrest broke into song, "Andy walks with me.  Andy talks with me. Andy tells me I am his own."  
Saint Peter opens the gates to heaven and said, "Run Forrest, run!"