[Vip-humor] Quilting The Charmin

[Parker]

Quilting the Charmin
I grew up in a big family, six kids. Seven, if you count my dad. Man, he got all the attention, being the youngest.

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it, can't eat it, can't taste it. At the end of the show they hold it up to the camera: "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Goodbye."

Why do they have the back pain medicine on the bottom shelf at the pharmacy?

I'm the intelligent, independent-type woman. In other words, a girl who can't get a man.

I was in the bathroom and my son yelled through the door, "Dad, are you going to the bathroom?" I said, "Nope. I'm quilting the Charmin."